Trying for normal... again.

I want to share this picture. Not because it has anything to do with my post today, but only because this was a silly day. They were so funny and then the afternoon pirates were just as fun. Gongigi, Sadiki. Gongigi.

Kinda been weird for the last few months. Focusing on the tasks at hand when I can. Earning my peace and taking what I can get when I can't. Just when work gets sorted out I get another curve ball. We'll see how this plays out. Tired of drama queens and people that go out of their way to be hurtful to others. Will focus on the people and things that matter. House in order, loved ones appropriately valued and zero tolerance of BS. I will not allow the emotional wrecking crews of the world to tear me down. With their hateful words or needless gossip. By that same token I will not tear others down or damage them with my words or deeds or lack of both. My focus... is on what makes it important and of what perceived value is it and how will my input or lack there of affect it.

Detached and distracted

Stealing a format from Miss Mouse ( I miss you)

• In the new house now.
• Finally starting to really get into my job (oddly enough).
• Missing people that don't remember me.
• Missing people that meant way more to me than they ever knew.
• Finding homes for all my crap, while getting rid of the real crap.
• Once again realizing that my hubby means the world to me and I'd be lost without him.
• Missing him intensely...

I have not had near the time to do anything that I have wanted or needed to. My depression has been kicking my ass lately. I have been finding new and interesting ways to terrorize my brain. I have been hiding out being angry with everything for fear that I will become too morose to function with normal society. My capacity in my new position allowing me a vent for my anger and a release for my apathy. And yet... the storm is upon me.

Clinging to my blessings and the reminders of the reality of things. Keeps most of it at bay. Still I find myself stuck in my own sickness. JM is my light. While I am not myself at the moment, I love you all. I am still here.

As Always, T

Do you have the time?

Seriously. I have had no time and don't see any in my immediate future that isn't scheduled to the last second. This is an exceedilngly frustrating place to be for me. I'm all about planning and what not, but it seems like there is no time to even just make a phone call to anyone. I hate feeling rushed.

No time for even the basics like errands or groceries. Everything has been on the run since my regular work schedule and JM's classes started. Being sick hasn't helped. What started as a sinus infection has turned into laryngitis and a chest cold. I just can't seem to shake it off.

Having stolen a moment to rant, I will go. Not done, but rediculously undone. I'll catch up at some point.




I hope. Blah.... Loves to all, T

A Lazy Day

Well it's official... I'm back to work. It's going well and is working out better than my last attempt at going back to work. The commute to South Austin was not worth the perks and no one would give me a straight answer about the 'open availability' requirement. Why would they ask you to commit to 20 extra hours a week that you couldn't if you are already committing to 40 and them not expect to be able to call that in to use? It would be better (and more honest) to just be up front about it and say that we'll need for you to be on call on your days off. Blah... they can have it.

Anyway... so other than that I have been exceedingly restless about things. We had to say good bye to our house guest, Whipple. Hopefully he was able to recharge and relax after the hurricane. I'm sure that after experiencing the joys of parenting teenagers he was ready to head home. It was nice having him here. As usual he is missed.

Last weekend we got to go see a friend's band play in Fredericksburg. It was a great evening. Fredericksburg is such a pleasant and welcoming little town. I always enjoy visiting there. The venue was so cozy and comfortable. The evening was cool and breezy, no bugs. The opening of the new Pioneer Museum and the Roots Music Festival. Going anywhere in town (we have been trying to get over to Zilker Botanical Gardens for the Dinoland thing) would have been a joke with ACL and the UT game in town so we opted to get away. Good food, good music and a chance to get the kids in on the show. Very different atmosphere than we are used to seeing them in(the band, I mean.), but as usual they stole the show and made lots of new fans. We had a great time. The kids were exhausted and excited that they got to meet 'celebrities'. LOL

This week has been slow and frustrating. Me getting back to work and trying to plan our schedules so that JM can start his EMT certification classes (He started today!!) and planning for the kids' extracurricular activities. I'm so proud of all of them. I'm hoping to find a routine to get into soon as physical therapy is not happening and getting used to my work schedule and JM's schedules for work and school. Those have been the hardest to sync up. We have to find a way to get my car up here. We are going to wind up needing a second vehicle faster than JM thinks. On top of that we are now shopping around for a laptop. I hate it when he finds rational reasons to need things that we just don't need. Again, blah...

I actually heard from T yesterday and the day before. TWO DAYS IN A ROW! Exciting right? Although they were only fractured text messages. It was still good to have some contact after so long. I guess I'm still having withdrawls. After not knowing for so long and then having such easy access to him for a short time and now he's gone... well at least I know how to contact him these days. Being able to reach out now is still a wondrous thing. Cest la vie.

Hopefully I can shake this brain cloud that is building soon. I really want to be able to find my stride before my holiday season begins. As of this coming Tuesday we will have been in our house for a year. I am dearly looking forward to the changing seasons and time spent with family and friends. Not sure how much travelling we will be doing this year as our schedules and gas prices may keep us pretty close to home. We'll see. I have some very high aspirations for this holiday season and not making at least one weekend of faire isn't one of them.

We missed TRF completely last year due to our move. It was sad, but so worth it. We missed Scarby due to my car accident and the subsequent injury. Didn't even realize it but we missed Serendipity, because we forgot. IF you can believe that. The Texas Renaissance Festival is our home fair and will open for this season in 6 days, 18 hours and 30 minutes. (nope I'm not counting down or nothing) Not sure if we'll be able to camp this year (CRYING), but to not go at all is just a heart break. So much fun and mischief and friends. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Well as I have nothing more exciting to contribute this time, I'll wrap this up. Much love to all. Hugs and warm fuzzies to all that need it. Take Care, T